Here Comes Goodbye
This blog is really like a déjà vu moment for me.
It isn’t “goodbye forever” per se, but it doesn’t matter because this is the sort of goodbye that a produces dull, persistent, throbbing knots in your stomach. It is the close of a chapter of life, the kind of conclusion that keeps you awake for days, pacing the house with the lights off. This particular farewell is leaving a hole in my chest and a bittersweet taste in my mouth, as saying goodbye has a way of doing.
The heaviness of this came like an unexpected punch in the gut. The sudden realization that I will soon no longer be a resident of North Carolina. The past 32 years are coming to a close and the next season is encroaching into my comfort zone. I’m not sure I’m ready. Will I ever be ready?
Those who have made the decision and given themselves into the hands of the Lord immediately sense what is happening within. The first reaction is a great relief and an inward joy that cannot be explained. The wonderful feeling doesn’t stay with you forever. Hearing this, you could easily conclude, at least in your feelings, that if the heaviness and unpleasantness is likely to return, there is no point in making the decision the first place. But I say to you that is not so. After crossing the first threshold, you are only at the beginning of the climb. The spiritual work only begins after this initial crossing, and that committing to His path consists in not giving up, but continuing to press on steadily.
Perhaps that, dear friends, is the hardest part of moving on; knowing you must move on even though every fiber of your being screams at you to obey your instincts to cling for dear life. Maybe that is why the mountaineer must grit his teeth, dig in his claws and continue the climb, no matter the cost, no matter the odds or even the price. Every aching muscle screams at him to give up and go home but he must be strong, resilient, and steadfast.
Letting go of my wants, needs, and desires and committing myself to the Lord’s path will make a mountain climber out of me because saying goodbye is MY Everest.
